- Fri Dec 04, 2015 7:57:24 am
#6565
Jeff Probst wrote:Tell me everything!!!! If you enjoyed it, if you would play again, what you would do differently, where you think you went wrong, who you liked/didnt like, what you learned, EVERYTHING <33333
I loved playing this season, Coming in I thought there was no way I could make the merge, the players are probably all going to be as cut throat as they were back in All-Stars and the game has evolved too much for me to make that big an impact. I'm proud that I definitely played hard and managed to do things a little out of the box this time. I mean 9th Place in a Second Chance season is not too bad I guess, I made it one place higher than I did back in All-Stars.
I like to think I had a better social game this time around and I wasn't just a big old game-bot. I think that's what kind of did me in though, when i was panicking towards the end I got too afraid to betray the people I was with and that's when I knew I was not going to be able to get out of there alive. In a way I'm kind of glad that I left the game this early because it was right before it was going to be time to vote of people I've really just gotten to know and bonded with.
If I had to choose one specific moment that could have changed my fate, it's probably playing that idol for no reason. I grew too impatient and too tired with dealing with the Sophie idol that I just did not consider my own safety in the vote afterwards. that being said, going after Sophie is directly the reason I played so hard this season. I guess it gave me some twisted goal to defeat her.
Generally, I wish I was more cunning and more willing to continue deceiving Sophie and Gabe when i had the chance. I'm not sure if they already saw me as a threat at the time and if I could have kept siphoning info from them, I would have had more options available to me in the game.
That being said I have no hard feelings whatsoever. They all played very well and of course they were going to take me out once it became clear what everyone thought of me.
I decided to come back this season quite frankly because the timing just worked out where my internship was ending and I was about to have a ton of free time. When they told me that it was gonna be a Second Chance season just like the real Survivor where the actual Kelly Wiglesworth was on, I figured that was probably a sign. I actually don't think I'll have the same opportunity and timing to be able to play again. This was really... this took a lot out of me this time around, so I don't know if I can really play again, at least maybe not to this same level that I did on this try. It was definitely nice coming back since the 1st season and looking at how much it has grown and the kind of players that are here now, it's a surreal experience.
It's interesting looking back at the 3 times I've played that it's always around this time, just shortly after the merge, that people seem to just see me as a threat and take me out. It happened with Rudy in Season 1, it happened with well really Rudy again in Season 4. I guess what I need to work on is having more self-awareness. I was too busy assessing where everyone else stood that I didn't really bother to look at where I was. There was a point a while back where I said that some people tend to over play and dominate early on and then they burn out. I think that might have been ironically quite prophetic with regards to what happened to me. Anytime anyone feels comfortable in the game, that's usually when it's over for them and it definitely rang true for me again hehe. I always tend to play too hard, I almost kind of don't know how not to you know? Like I go into this always just trying to be true to myself and I'm always super competitive, it's very hard for me to tone it down. It's probably just intensified after all these years.
(p.s.- do you guys still compile the episodes? would love to have a chance to read these again in another 8 years lol)
